Behind Enemy Lines

On Tuesday night the Mission was to infiltrate enemy territory, probe their defensive systems, disrupt any and all lines of communication then, hopefully, return safely with the best intel my Team could manage.

So we moved into the den of the Beast to reconnoiter Osaka Dome
and the wildly popular (and widely despised) Defending Champions-
The Yomiuru Giants.


Yes I'm a Hardcore Hanshin Tigers Fan (HHT, Represent!) along with a huge aficionado of Koshien (the home park of same) and after our visit to the Land of the Self-Righteous I can safely say I am now, officially, even more passionate than I was before concerning Tigers baseball.

The Dome?

Well......if you happen to be a big fan of shopping malls then this is probably your kind of place.
Modern, functional, convenient, comfortable, climate-controlled, clean, safe and with about as much soul and warmth as a pre-prison Martha Stewart on the worst day of her period.


Of course the simultaneously over and underwhelming presence of legions of bloodless, lifeless, listless and near useless Giant Zombie Nation (GZN, booo) contributed to the otherwise dreary atmosphere and no doubt subtracted greatly from any allure the Dome itself may otherwise contain.
Imagine being trapped among thousands of upper-crusty retirees, sedated by decades of success and bloated by the sense of their absolute superiority, who arrive late, leave early and spend more time fiddling with their keitais and glancing at their watches than they do following the action on the field before they bolt for the exits and their very,very important lives.

And did they run out of beautiful Girls in Osaka recently 'cuz i saw fine examples everywhere getting there and back but sadly there were precious few in the stands that lonely evening.

Leave it to GZN to line up for KFC.

Boring. i was stunned to learn that they serve only Beer in the stands and finding the beer girls wasn't exactly easy!
I had to trek for some minutes until I finally located what must have been the only stand that sold Chu-Hi (a soda/shochu blend) and in J-Land this must certainly be some cruel form of joke and definitely societal sacrilege.


All in all a dull game punctuated by a duller crowd framed in a generic Mallmosphere for the polite if distracted enjoyment of a grossly spoiled fan base.

Yea,yea,yea. The Giants won 2-1.


posted by Billy at 14:22 | Kyoto (Japan)